novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i need to find my focus. i think it's in that pile by my bookcase. when i spend a rainy tuesday afternoon inside guilt nibbles at my corners. that guilt that comes when you know you've put off a thing or two. my long-standing to-do list, mostly involving sorting through piles (indecipherable columns to the untrained eye -- complex, distracting catacombs to the discerning), tax information (oh little form have you grown legs?) and bills for that car accident last summer. and shooting through the fabric of the space time continuum comes eric's voice crackling on my cell phone. eric from j's insurance company, the eric i have promised to send forms to for the past five or six months. he is understanding and patient. except for the voicemail he left me in december; he sounded tighter, almost pursed then. today he explained several different types of coverages. and how i am probably not going to be covered by them, because the man that hit j's car was uninsured. (and a car thief.) i took notes. i promised. i felt bad. i found my old insurance card, dusty and folded over, between two harry potter books. i read him the information and promised further action. promises promises. oh i am not always this bad. there are things that i let slide for various stupid reasons. i am not a procrastinator. i am a persnickety procrastinator. i ebb and i flow. i waver and i mislay. some things i'll accomplish in an hour, and others? (wait, do i still owe you a valentine from last year? oh, i'm so sorry. see, i still have twenty five of the zines, all assembled, nestled comfortably among other projects in the blue trunk against the blue couch in the purple living room... at least they're assembled.) 12:04 am - 02.16.05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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