novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ten days there is sweetness in the small things that happen uncalculated. i am thinking up song titles and figuring i will write the words once i learn the chords. the class i'm taking to finally graduate college is a joke. our essay question asked us what would you do if you walked in on your child masturbating? i commence in ten days. it is a hump in the horizon, the last hill to climb before finding a place to camp for the night. making a speech in front of my family and hoping my dad doesn't pee in the bushes. wondering if he'll cry. i remember seeing him cry two times one night we were visiting some of their friends and we slept in an rv on their driveway and i couldn't sleep so i came into the house and found my dad crying in the dark living room to a made for tv movie about a child's torment over his parents' divorce. he saw me and looked me in the eyes and said I'LL NEVER DO THAT TO YOU i was six. his parents got divorced when he was sixteen and his mother went alcohol-crazy thereafter at my brother's graduation dinner in scotland he was so drunk and proud tears were running down his cheeks and he is usually so outspoken that night he gurgled and everyone laughed at him but was moreso surprised by his obvious emotional state.
i can't do many things at once. after dropping my parents off at the airport the sunday after commence day i am getting the birds tattooed under my collarbone. i will bother everyone i know who decently plays a musical instrument until they show me some tricks. i will recapture my bike from the ex-landlord. i will work on art projects and go to bars and re-learn pool. or snooker. snooker seems classy.
9:24 pm - 05.01.02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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