novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i don't know where stability is i don't understand all these dilemas floating around her; i can't even see them. i'm not good at reading her yet, and i don't know if i ever will be. i have started practising tactics before unheard of in elkaland; keeping to my own while she gets through things herself. is this one of her dilemas? perhaps my mountain of laundry is a dilema, or my life is getting under her skin in some other disagreeable way. how does one help this? when i feel unsure i feel threatened and when i feel threatened i hem and haw and annoy people easily. or get really hyper and talk about cock rings in front of my mother. last night my mother met my brother's boyfriend. she drank wine and straight gin and was totally unaware of her hemline scooching towards her middle. mike seemed unphased, picking at his food and talking to me about circulation. she kept complaining about the job she will resign from in six weeks. i know all about the volunteers who take vacations paid for by AIDS partnership donations, the this and the that. my car got towed at four am this morning. 3:34 pm - 04.21.02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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