novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- filed down into sixty minutes lunchtime. it glistens on the horizon like the setting sun sinking into translucent waters, a la digitally retouched travel pamphlets. lunchtime my heart lifts and if i have enough money i sit at a cheap little restaurant reading where someone waits on me, brings me food, refills my water. i can sit and not work. i can sit and read, or eat, or stare straight ahead, daydreaming, not bothering to answer any telephones or to behave in an appropriate businesslike manner. not having to fax, to code, to murmur "buh bye now" to disinterested multi-tasking callers. it's never this poignant when my day is completely my own free time. like when people notice sun rays filtering through clouds; things are filed down to detail, then shined and buffed for anyone to notice: you appreciate its beauty, feel touched that you saw it, add it to your memory. when i'm not working or at school i'm in the middle of an expanse that blurs lines and coats possibilities. time is malleable. there are no single rays, just the whole lit up sky. this only seems freeing to me in small bits and pieces, a day, a week, a month, an hour. otherwise it feels so routine that it isn't so glittering anymore. 2:19 pm - 6.26.01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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