novembre

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don't eat no mashed potatoes/ don't eat no buttered scones/ you gonna look like skin and bones/ bones and bones

i'm listening to david's kinks records on a stereo we fixed together in the living room. the tonsilitis came back, fourth time in two months. the third round of medication ran out three days ago. i have a consultation with a surgeon guy in about a week. i ate cottage cheese and pizza today, just like muffie did, but not together. my mother wants me to letterpress print 200 christmas cards. anna claire wrote me. michelle killed a mouse and david impersonated a monkey. my brother used the term "sweet" twice on the phone. a girl's dog is in the animal hospital, close to death. she wouldn't stop crying in class today. i held her shoulders and told her that i know how she feels, that i've lost two schnauzers myself. that my friend's beloved cat died last weekend too. these things happen and you have to remember the good times. she kept crying, telling me she's had him since she was four. i felt like i was invading her space so i went back to work. the last day of classes was today, i had to read at a gathering a part from my memoir. i went last, and read slowly as i could, breathing inbetween snot and swallows and hearing nothing but tinny consonants and whistles. in fact, that's all i've heard today, when i called my mother to tell her i'm sick again, when i prank called krissy at work pretending to ask for the latest corey haim/corey feldman porn release, when i held the crying girl's shoulders, as i listen to scratchy popping hissing fuzzy records.

eight weeks of bad health is frustrating. i was really looking forward to the end of the semester but i can't do much besides sleep.
if the hmo doesn't approve my surgery i will take my tonsils out myself with a rusty fork.
a fork, and a rusty fork at that, to make the story more interesting.

and now,
what i would be doing if i wouldn't fall asleep five minutes after this and not wake up for thirteen more hours thanks to painkillers:

-learning HTML to make this page aesthetically pleasing
-taking pictures
-finishing the small zine i was going to make
-cleaning the bathroom
-cooking healthy, tasty food
-painting
-writing letters
-going on a road trip
-making presents
-going to see owen's band
-practising the drums
-spooning with dinosaur

well, just generally sleeping a hell of a lot less.

9:10 pm - 12.7.2000

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