novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- let me be you for a while. this afternoon after summer school i worked out for an hour, mad at myself that i have to lose fifty pounnds. k and i had a picnic in cemetary park where b and i used to eat the same sandwiches from the same restaurant, and g would have sex in the trees. my stomach hurts whenever i eat food, especially at g's. crabby from not enough sleep for too many days in a row. my portable cd player is a futile attempt at a stereo- i get mad at it whenever i use it. i went swimming. i am always swimming. too tired to sleep and i find myself skipping around, getting bored with just reading straight through my books these past few days. i keep confusing plotlines with subtexts from the wrong books. i want to slow down but when i do, i just stop reading altogether for a while. i have a restlessness that i can't name, and sunburn. i am too restless tonight. i wish all of my far away friends were in my room. we could have a slumber party and play "dare" because all truths have already been told. except this: i am morphing into an almost full-fledged girl. 10 pm - 6.20.2000 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||