novembre

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slow down, little bird

slow down little bird.

lunches midweek: san francisco. $8 for a spoonful each of steamed rice, broccoli, zucchini and spicy chicken. People in business attire eat fast and talk about work. I am beginning to see that being an adult means being a teenager with responsibilities. You still have the roiling emotions, the odd sex drive, the need to fit in. That doesn't go away. There is no such thing as an extended adolescence. There is only growing up and accepting hard work. Learning to put a lid on it. Learning to live with it and through it and despite it and because of it. Hey, actions have the weight of a chorus of emotional dominoes fallen behind them. Each one, a trail of squares of experience.

We have to remember that we don't need to explain. We are grown ups. We embrace both imperfection and nuance, we embrace action action action.

I need to find a new way of writing. No more mood explaining. Growing up means becoming post existential.

9:36 pm - 11.05.09

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