novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- but it's a good thing. no matter how many times i burst into flames. I don't want to rely on outside forces to make me feel better. I want to heal myself. I told this to a new friend last week. She immediately asked me if I had grown up with an alcoholic parent. "You certainly fit the pattern." This I filed away. I know, I know already. I know what I grew up with, and how much love I had and didn't understand. I just don't want to turn into an alcoholic myself. I'm scared of myself in that way. Very addictive personality. I've been looking at my comfort binges. They aren't all alcohol-based, but some of them certainly stem from drinking. We are searching and revising, searching and revising. Be calm and stop freaking yourself out. Moderation is to patience as hollow bones are to bird's flight. Practice practice. I turn thirty in four months. Willis says my saturn is returning, and that's the cause for all this upheaval. 1:22 pm - 07.26.08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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