novembre

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large bodies of water make our skin sing.

we are walking around the lake, like we used to do every day years before. our skin is singing and there is french music in our headphones, ducks following our trail from the water, hoping we'll throw them bread.

but i saw that sign, the one painted on the sidewalk next to the duck pond near the atrium, the white capital letters painted with careful spacing that shouts "DO NOT THROW BREAD INTO THE WATER," i saw it years ago, noticed it the first time i walked around this lake in fact, and it made me wonder because why would someone go to the trouble of painting such a warning onto the concrete near a man-made duck pond? and why did the ducks need this pond if there was a lake four feet from it?

the water must soak into the bread and that must not be very good for the ducks.

but every time i walk around this lake, every time, i see elated children or clusters of families, straining over the railing of the duck pond, doing exactly the opposite of what the sign says.

now i'm trying to remember when it was i first walked around the lake. i think it was after i moved to athol. i remember going to look at the apartment (heather hadn't moved here yet, she was trusting me to find a good place for us), and that was the first time i'd driven on the lakeshore side of the lake. i'd only lived in oakland about three years, and up until then i lived out by macarthur park, by mills.

i followed lakeshore's snake, checking my directions compulsively, and then i took a left at this beautiful little park, and i got the best feeling. i drove up and spotted the little twenties building winking at me in the sun, and that feeling just exploded.

mills dorm -- one year
(summer in portland)
larsen co-op -- one & one-half years
living in my car -- ten days to two weeks, i don't remember, i stayed with ceci & joanne for a while
off park blvd -- four months
birdsall avenue -- one year (2001. i remember watching the planes hit the buildings on tv.)
the lake -- two years? it felt like three. was it only two?
fairmount avenue -- one year
1919 market -- 9 months
30th & telegraph -- 3 months
54th st -- 6 months
here -- 14 months.

10 homes.
28 housemates.
9 years.

it's no wonder that i dug my heels into this house. cheap rent, big house, i can nest in it however i want, tree-lined street, neighborhood is pretty safe.

but i still miss the lake.

11:07 pm - 03.21.08

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