novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- far away we hate it when people say things like, "what you do on new year's day will follow you for the rest of the year." today we threw up our hands and declared that we will take care of ourselves while also seeing after those we love. we will be imperfect. we will not placate. we will have mistakes and unexplainable desires. we will want one moment but not want the next, and then want the one after that. and it is okay. also today: a man in a chicken suit, dark sunglasses perched on his beak, waving a sign at passing cars. a dinosaur museum decorated for the holidays with giant palm trees made of christmas lights sprouting up out of the snow. a rock formation that looked like two camels kissing. a small old cat who was attacked by an owl and had to have her jaw wired shut. "happy new year" text messages from strange oakland numbers not already stored in my phone. bikers in super k-mart. cameras. nervous parents, watery black beans, driving around with a bank of snow in the bed of the pickup. thinking about a boy who meets my eyes and won't look away, and for some reason i can't either. thinking i will get to know him and maybe, maybe there will be moments, and i will try not to shut down before these moments have a chance to happen, not with him. horses with winter coats pawing near fences. a swingset in the middle of nowhere, bright blue and green under white white white. but no drinking, none today. 7:17 pm - 01.01.08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||