novembre

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falling stars

you ever look back on your dating history and realize that you were unintentionally mean to the boys you loved the most, like some sort of fight/flight defensive automaton?

you think about this a little further, and you decide two things:
a) intentions don't negate consequences
b) you were afraid of getting hurt.

you are stuck thinking about this now because of jolly. he finds ways of contacting you or running into you almost every day. you don't want to hurt him, but you don't love him. you consciously decide to be distant.

and then you think about how you did this to boys you really did love, and then all you can do is sigh and make the standard jokes about joinging a nunnery.

at least that was then. bygones. bygones, bygones, bygones.

12:40 pm - 11.14.06

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