novembre

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just bumping along

1. i have no tact.
2. i am afraid of falling in love. i will avoid it at all costs.
3. frozen mixed fruity drinks on the sidewalk outside of erica's apartment, her crappy tape player between our legs, playing the unfinished version of smile on sunday afternoon. sunglasses and bare feet. hangovers and hair of the dog.
4. reid's voice, while playing guitar.
5. sitting on sara's rooftop watching the sun come up with friends and singing along.
6. always singing along lately. dancing a lot more, dancing in my seat. last night an old friend blurted, "you've changed a lot, the past year, elka" and i raised my eyebrows. aren't we always changing? i've been fixing myself up for years. i'm a fixer-upper. there's a small beauty to that, to finding your faults and digging past them. still working on #2, but whatever. i have time for that. right now i'm learning how to just, well, just. i'm still learning. you think we will ever be perfect? you think you'll love me despite my fuck ups?
7. free bbq.

all weekend was my memorial day. all 48 hours of it. and now i have to move everything i own, and i'm scared. i actually hired movers. i feel so adult.

9:55 am - 05.30.05

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