novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- we are not merely crystal goblets you're plodding along, right, and sometimes you just get assailed by awareness of your current position. by the absurdity and beauty of it. why is everything so horrible and wonderful at the same time? there is no clear delineation everything is murking together it is altogether very strong and pungent and i feel exceptionally occupied and tired. 1. grad school. 2. internship. 3. job. 4. writing. 5. readings. 6. studio. 7. miles and miles and miles and everybody feels this way; everybody is filled up. filled by the exciting, the hurtful, the banal, the amazing. an example: i have set aside the reading, the critical theory for the night. i set aside the experimental poetry (the absence of narrative is driving me crazy), the novels, the history of typography, the analysis because i have to try on the $12.99 office-appropriate navy blue slacks i just bought at ross dress for less to see what outfit would make me seem the most professional for tomorrow's job interview. and i watched starsky and hutch. "go to sleep, tiny dancer." 10:44 pm - 09.08.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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