novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- horns through the trees every handful of months i get stuck in this mood where i want out of the city. the things that usually do not matter do and i grumble at them: so many people, high prices, bad drivers. i begin to romanticize the less-populated areas, where lawns are not mythical creatures and walking around at night alone isn't an insanely stupid thing to do. just when i begin to convince myself that the people in small towns are friendly and familial, i remember that i have no real basis for comparison past what i've seen in movies. celluloid lies. i'd probably get followed at night no matter where i am, and there would be no cordial waving if i wore tattoo-exposing clothing. maybe i just need a smaller city. my own little utopia where the houses all have porches, fireflies wink in the night, and strangers are not seen as threatening. (anyone perceived as strange, i mean. a place where anyone different is not seen as a threat.) i don't think you can find such a place in america. it's too ist wherever you go: classist, racist, sizeist, fundamentalist, blah blah blah. i think we have to create our own colonies out of our friends. but i live in a giant city bordered by other giant cities and i'm a hermit and everyone i love is so busy all the time. oh there's always a but. anyhow, i'm glad this mood is short-lived. very frustrating and annoying. the neighbors down the street are blasting otis redding and setting off fireworks. i'd wander over and introduce myself if i didn't also hear them screaming at each other sometimes, in the deep middles of the night. but you're a thousand miles away. i can't give it to you, honey. 10:21 pm - 06.27.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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