novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- improbability i have dreams where i am pregnant and bruised around the middle, where you come to my oakland apartment and marvel at my long hair and how womanly i've gotten. in some of the dreams we kiss. in others, i sit on roller coasters that do not end, feeling the strange indent stretching across my bloated belly; it is blue and brown. i imagine a bright blue ribbon tied too tightly around my middle, pulling me backwards. i think i'm trying to figure out what the visual changes signify. unconsciously. no matter what i (don't) tell myself over time, my identity is stretching, making space. that's a pretty gross mental image right there. 1:11 pm - 11.10.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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