novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- fix yourself while you still can i think i need to ramble on the next few entries to get back into the practice of novembre diaryland. there is another but that has a different element and it is secretly privately elsewhere, and there are my collage journals but they aren't so very talky, just image-based and, to be honest, dusty lately. there are many people who don't understand why i still work where i do. they look at me like i'm crazy for thinking i can work there, especially with me being as scattered as i am, and they glare at me for admitting that while it wears me down in two- to three-month intervals it also is the current love of my life. {which is good because ROMANTIC LOVE no longer exists in elkaland. i think it faded away and forgot to say good-bye, or that it did say good-bye and i didn't notice because ROMANTIC LOVE has a sense of humor and tricked me into thinking it was only leaving for a little bit because as it left it sang n*sync. ROMANTIC LOVE to elka: bye bye bye (bye bye) elka to ROMANTIC LOVE: ok, ha ha, call me when you get back. ROMANTIC LOVE to elka: [refrain, chorus, justin timberlake] elka to ROMANTIC LOVE: ewww. ok bye.} today i got paid for taking a group of little disabled kids and fellow aides to a farm in lafayette. i brushed ponies and sheep and held chickens in my lap. discussed the mammals' winter coat and wondered where mine was as i held this little nonverbal twelve year old's hands and bounced with him high in the air, he laughed a lot and when he laughs he sounds kindof like alfalfa because he likes to manipulate his vocal cords, the different vibrations are a way of stemming. today i remembered that the beginnings are the hardest for me, and that sometimes it won't be eloquent, and that i should just let it go. ah, better. 7:29 pm - 01.17.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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