novembre

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it is the spine that i will always remember

i cried today.

the first time i saw an elephant in real life was at two o'clock this afternoon.

five india elephants, four in the back and one walking in circles carrying paying passengers.

after a second's worth of inner debate over such outlandish whoring of noble animals in captivity, i paid my five dollars and stood in line between bored parents and their jittery children.
do all elephants stink? why is it so old? is it a boy or a girl? do they ever give it a bath? why is it making that noise?

i pointedly asked not to be grouped with such obviously undeserving patrons during my elephant ride. the trainer shrugged but i warmed him to me by asking lots of questions.
how many teeth does an elephant have, excluding their tusks, of course? how many pounds does a single elephant's tooth weigh? that is a fiberclass cast of an elephant's tooth? can i see it? was it taken from a male or a female? i heard that females that are in breeding age have smooth feet. is this true?

kava, a female. full grown four tons.

i stradled her back and felt her spine between my legs. as she walked, my thighs rocked against her shoulderblades and her backbone curved under me, away from me, unaware completely of my weight but not of me. we walked our circle and i rubbed the rubbered, paperlike tips of her ears, whispering to her. patted her head and she looked right at me before i was herded away and out of my religious experience.

i sound just like an elephant when i blow my nose, you know.

10:31 pm - 04.05.02

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