novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i miss you still this happens to me in shifts, everything does. living alone going to school full time sucks everything away. my next door neighbors are nice, always making an effort with me. inviting me over to their dinner parties where i sit and stare at wine glasses while they talk about orgasms. tuesday they bought me candy and we watched a movie, quietly, they had all seen it except for me and it felt like they wanted a night of comfort. they showed me pictures of the four of them out on the town: lowcut, tightfitting tops and painted lips, liquor and smiles. our lives are so different. when i am around them i feel quiet and antiquated. not typically collegiate. more like old lady. or twelve year old boy. right now i am alone so much that i never see anyone on a daily basis. not even school friends, and i go to school roughly every twelve hours for one reason or another. while i walk to class i daydream about tongue in cheek sleepovers, record shopping, road trips with friends. i daydream about my friends' faces. and you always wondered why i asked for a picture of you, didn't you? i daydream that you come to visit me in the book arts studio late at night and we blast music and dance on tables and drink apple juice and sing out loud on the roof 9:10 pm - 10.11.01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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