novembre ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the lipstick monster j decided to put makeup on all of us. i have red lipstick smeared over my face. i kissed everyone in the house violently on their cheeks so it would look like we had gotten attacked by the lipstick monster. it is amazing how fast the day changes. in this weekend, an amazing person kissed on me, i couldn't climb up a roof, o and i got our stuff searched by a rent a cop and then got kicked out of my co-op because all of my housemates think that she stole their stuff, i watched 2 movies about cheerleading with some level of gay subtext in each, i moved, i slept on the floor, on a futon, never on my own bed. d + m are renting me a room starting tomorrow for a couple of weeks until k and i can find a place. right now everything i own is piled into trashbags, stuffed into my car. i am at c and j's. o is here and we are smearing red lipstick over everything, laughing... this afternoon j, o + i went to the korean market and i stood outside smoking cigarettes after a while because the lines were so long and i was feeling claustrophobic. across the street was the burned out core of a building, just brick frame. i stared through the window at the broken ceilings hanging down in cinders. it looked so beautiful and i just wanted to photograph it so badly. i felt so calm, watching it, appreciating it, until i looked over and saw a sign declaring the burned frame a "public nuisance." everything is subjective. and now i'm free. no longer trapped in the atrocities of control freakland, no longer living in a house i'm scared to be in without my friends....ah sweet freedom how dramatic can i get with this much lipstick on my face? no matter that i live out of my car today, tomorrow i might find someplace that finally makes me feel safe. this is what i get for harbouring a theif. ha. i miss you. 10:45 pm - 10.16.2000 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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